


I Cast a Spell on You

by Sapphirewyren



Category: Hellsing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-18
Updated: 2020-06-18
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:00:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24793528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sapphirewyren/pseuds/Sapphirewyren
Summary: Integra is turned into a dog after a run-in with a witch. Is there more to say?
Kudos: 6





	I Cast a Spell on You

**A Hellsing Fanfiction**

**Sapphirewyren**

** I Cast a Spell on You **

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**Disclaimer: I do not own Hellsing. I wish I did.**

_“You are a cold hearted bitch” the witch had said. “You will be punished for what you have done!”_

Integra remembered these words and scoffed as she opened her eyes the next morning, why people were so weird she would never understand. The commander stretched and went to the bathroom. In the mirror Integra saw a large Husky in the mirror. My eyes must be getting even worse. She raised a hand to rub her eyes and the dog in the mirror did the same- well raised a paw. Integra leaned forward, the dog did the same. The dog tilted its head when the knight did. Then realization dawned on Integra. She had been turned into a dog, most likely the witch’s doing.

FFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!

What everyone else heard was:

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

“What was that?” said Walter. Pip shrugged, “A werewolf? Silver bullets kill those, right?”

But Walter was not paying attention to the mercenary, “That sounded like it came from Sir Integra’s room.”

“She’s brave to be fighting a werewolf this early in the morning.”

Walter hurried to the bedroom and as soon as he opened the door a large dog landed on top of him. The dog seemed to be greatly agitated because it kept barking and howling, and at some times growling.

**Walter, you have to help me. That bitch of a witch turned me into a bloody mutt!**

“Where is Sir Integra? Why does she have a dog?” Walter looked around but could not see his employer anywhere. Turning to the dog, the butler said, “I wish that you could talk, and then you could tell me where Sir Integra went.”

**I _am_ Integra, you old coot!**

“This is not good.” Walter went into the room, well tried. It is hard to walk when a large dog keeps jumping on you. “You’re just full of energy, aren’t you?”

**No, I am filled with rage!**

Integra had to find a way to tell Walter that she was Integra, but it was hard to form words with a dog mouth. So she ran to her closet and grabbed a blazer. She dropped it at Walter’s feet. The dog then ran back to the closet and grabbed a pair of pants. She did this until there was a pile of clothes in front of Walter.

“I don’t think that Sir Integra would appreciate you chewing on her clothes.”

**What do you want me to do, use these idiot paws?**

The dog looked up expectantly at Walter, but he had no clue what it was trying to tell him. The husky kept barking at him, but the butler was still clueless; he was more concerned with his missing employer.

“I hope she comes back soon, her breakfast is getting cold. And she hates cold breakfast.” Walter turned to leave but the dog barred his path. “Dog, I don’t have time to play. I must find Sir Integra.”

**I’m right here!**

Integra grabbed Walter’s arm in her mouth, careful not to bite down and tugged him towards the nightstand where her glasses were. Picking them up, she tossed them to him. “I really don’t think that Sir Integra….” But Integra paid him no attention as she was now focused on opening one of the drawers, which took some work, took out a box of cigars and tossed these to Walter. She then sat on the bed and stared at him intently.

What could this bloody dog want? First it raids Sir Integra’s closet, chews on her clothes, nearly breaks her glasses and almost ruins a box of highly expensive cigars. Now it’s staring at me.

Walter stared back at the dog, the dog, though clearly a husky was not the usual color of one. Usually a husky had a gray and white or black and white coat. Sometimes even red, brown or white. This one was blonde, the same shade as Integra’s hair. There were silver rings around its eyes as if it was wearing glasses. Its eyes were the same shade of blue as Sir Integra's ... that glare … wait …

“Sir Integra? Is that you?” asked Walter slowly peering closely at the dog. Surprisingly the dog nodded. The butler’s mouth dropped open and he looked as if he was about to faint. “But how? When? Who did this?”

**I just told you. It was that bloody witch!**

“How do we change you back? We can’t let the staff see you like this …. Oh dear.”

And if things couldn’t get any worse, Alucard phased into the room, “Master, I am tempted to eat one of Pip’s mercenaries because he keeps asking if I like garlic. Also why are you a dog?” This comment just angered Integra and cursing in dog, just sounded like barking. “I can’t understand what you are saying, master.” The smirk on the vampire’s face pissed Integra even more and there was more barking.

“Alucard that is not funny” scolded Walter

**You fucking dirt bag of scum! You think this is funny, you worthless inept piece of rubbish vampire?**

“Now that was not nice, Master.”

**I thought you said you couldn’t understand what I was saying, you big red sack of horse turd.**

Even though Walter couldn’t understand Integra, the look on Alucard’s face however told him that the vampire was not happy about what could be interpreted as insults. “Are you finished barking, master?”

**Look here you puddle of piss, you will NOT disrespect me, even if I am a bloody dog. I am still a higher species than you are, Alucard. For the rest of the time, I’m in this ridiculous form, you will crawl on your knees!**

Alucard looked at Integra incredulously and Walter said, “Now I really wish I knew what she was saying.”

**What are you waiting for, Alucard? DOWN BOY!**

Walter couldn’t help but laugh when he saw Alucard getting down on his hands and knees. It was ridiculous seeing the No-Life-King obeying the commands of a dog. As Integra left the room, Walter asked, “Where are you going, Sir Integra?’

**I have to take a shit and I just found the perfect toilet**

The butler nearly split his sides laughing because the look on Alucard’s face and the vampire mentioning about the dog’s new bathroom told him exactly what that toilet was. When the vampire tried to go after, the sound that the dog barked clearly said “Stay”.

Being a dog when one was supposed to be human was a waste of time and unproductive use of one’s day. What was worse was that there was supposed to be a meeting with the members of the Round Table and Integra certainly couldn’t show up as a dog. Walter decided that the best course of action was to tell them that Integra was unwell and to reschedule the meeting for another time. But there was no hiding it from the rest of the staff or the Wild Geese. And definitely not Seras.

The Wild Geese thought it was funny-for a while, until Pip nearly got his hand ripped off. While in the medical office Pip exclaimed, “I hope she got her rabies shot.”

**Oh boo hoo, grow a pair, you sissy Frenchman. And no, I didn’t get a rabies shot.**

“Is it me or is Sir Integra scarier as a dog?”

Some of the Wild Geese were hard-headed and tried to play fetch with the belligerent husky.

“Come on girl, go get the ball, go on. Get the ball.”

**I do not want to fetch the ball.**

“You want the ball, don’t you? Don’t you?”

**I do not want the ball. However I can go for a strong drink about now**

The Wild Geese gave up after they found their dirty magazines torn and their socks soaked in piss.

“That was not nice, master. And can I get up now?” asked Alucard.

**No, if I have to suffer so do you. And those clowns had it coming.**

“What if they sue?”

**I would love to see them try and sue a dog.**

Though the Round Table old geezers were not happy to hear that Integra was not feeling well, they were glad that Walter did not give them details. The last time they got details, it had to do with women’s monthlies and not one of them wanted to hear any more of that. As Pemberton left, he said, “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say that dog looks like Sir Hellsing.”

When Seras found out there was a dog, she went nuts. When she found out that it was Integra turned into a dog, she went even nutser. “Sir Integra you look so pretty as a dog!”

**Are you saying I looked ugly as a human?**

“Of course not. You look sooooo pretty!!! Can I pet you?”

**No, you can’t pet me**

“Please? Pretty please?” Then Seras gave her big blue-eyed puppy dog look.

**Aren’t I supposed to be the one doing that?**

“Just one pet? Or maybe a couple of pets?”

**Fine, you can have two**

“Yay!” But Seras couldn’t stop after two, but she found a loophole. Integra never said anything about scratching behind the ears.

**Ok that’s not fair. That feels really good**

“Look, your tail is wagging!”

**That’s my cue to leave**

“Come back, Sir Integra.”

“How come you don’t pet me?” asked Alucard.

“Your dog form is hideous and scary” came the answer.

“That’s mean.”

“Why are you crawling around on all fours?”

“I’m being made to suffer.”

Seras was quiet for a moment before asking, “How long is this going to last? Is this a permanent thing?”

“I hope it isn’t. How will I annoy my master? And my hands and knees are beginning to hurt.”

While Alucard and Seras were trying to figure out how to turn Integra back into a human, Walter found Integra moping in her office. “Sir, I think that we should try to make the best of this situation.”

**Easy to say when you’re not a dog, geezer.**

“Now Sir, don’t give me that look. Look, I bought you some tea.”

**In a bowl?**

“It was all I could find, I didn’t want you to accidentally break any of the good saucers”

Integra sighed, she might as well drink it. She’d be damned if she let being a dog throw her off her tea time schedule. When Seras entered the office she squealed in delight at seeing a dog drinking tea. The vampire hugged Integra, “You look so soft! And cute!”

**Dog or not, don’t disturb me while I’m having tea. Also no hugs, you’re breaking me.**

“Sorry, Sir.”

**Be useful and find the damn witch who did this to me!**

While Seras went to find the witch, Alucard said, “You do know why you’re dog right, master?”

**Because of a stupid witch.**

“Well true, but you forgot that you killed her son yesterday.

**He changed into a ghoul. Should I have let him roam around England biting everyone he saw?**

“She did say she could change him back.”

**Nonsense, no one can change a ghoul back to human.**

Alucard raised an eyebrow, “And yet you’re a dog and a bitchy one at that.”

**Go fuck yourself, Alucard.**

“Perhaps if you showed some kind of remorse for what you did, maybe she will change you back.”

**And maybe I should go to the funeral for every vampire and ghoul I dispose of. Hell I could give a bloody eulogy for each one!**

“Master, even if Seras was to find the witch, there is no guarantee that she will change you back.”

**Maybe if I let you eat her, she’ll change her mind.**

“I doubt that. Besides if the witch is dead, the spell may be permanent.”

**Or killing her could break the spell**

“I’d prefer we didn’t find out and we just hope the witch wants to change you back.”

Hours later Seras walked into the room with a sad look on her face, “The witch said that she isn’t going to change Sir Integra back until she learns her lesson.”

**And that is?**

“Humility...remorse...I stopped listening when she said wouldn’t change you back, Sir.”

**Well, that was not wise. How I am supposed to fake what feeling she wants?**

“I’m sorry, Sir. I failed.

**Yes, you did, Seras. I guess I could get used to being a dog.**

The husky sighed and left the office. “Great going Seras, now every time I say something, she’s going to bite me” groaned Pip.

“And I’ll be on my hands and knees forever. If I turn my beautiful master, would she be a vampire dog?”

“I’m sorry guys” said Seras sadly. Pip smiled, “Don’t worry, we’ll find a way to change Sir Integra back.”

“Thanks.”

The next morning to Integra’s disappointment, she was still a dog. What was worse, Walter came in with a bucket of what she immediately knew to be bathing supplies. “Now Sir, please make this easy.”

**No, I don’t want a bath**

“It will be over before you know it.”

**First a bath, then what. You’re going to have me spayed?**

‘It’s a simple bath.”

**No!**

The husky ran out the room howling her head off, with Walter running after her. “Sir! Please! It’s just a bath!” When Integra sprinted out of her room, it seemed as if the entire staff was out to get her. Everywhere Integra turned someone was trying to catch her.

**What part of I don’t want a bath don’t you idiots not comprehend?**

It was a while, but Integra managed to shake everyone, but it exhausted her and she plopped on the ground under a large tree panting.

**I really should stop smoking. A quick nap should help, not like I have anything else to do.**

As soon as the commander-turned-dog closed her eyes, Seras grabbed her in a strong grip. “I’m sorry, Sir!”

**You’ve been apologizing a lot lately. Now unhand me, I don’t want a bath!**

“Walter said that this was for your own good.” Soon Integra was in a tub of warm soapy water, looking like the angriest and miserable wet dog you have ever seen. The low growls that came from her were interpreted as grumbling.

“You didn’t have a problem bathing before, master” smirked Alucard.

**Would you like another ‘gift’ in your coffin, slave?**

“That was disgusting.”

“Don’t worry, Sir Integra, you’ll be all fluffy and clean, squeaky clean” chirped Seras. A short while later a good shake got Integra dry while it soaked everyone else. “She did that on purpose” groaned Walter.

**You deserved that**

Every day for a week, Integra woke up a dog and everyday was a horrible new adventure, especially the part where Seras wanted to dress up Integra in clothes.

**I’m not wearing that dress, it’s ridiculous**

“It will look cute,” said Seras. At one point one of the mercenaries even suggested a pink collar, but Seras thought that maybe a necktie or ascot would be better. Neither of them got their wish. By the end of the week, Integra really hated being a dog and it just made her surlier than ever. She just moped in the living room staring at the wall. For the most part, everyone did what a normal person does when there’s an angry dog, avoid it. Except for Seras, who took the opportunity to pet Integra constantly. And the nuzzle in the soft coat.

**If you keep petting me, I’m going to be bald and I think I’m suffering enough.**

“But you’re so soft and you look like you need a hug. Strangely there have not been any ghoul attacks.” Seras was right, no major attacks haven’t happened as if even the ghouls were afraid of a certain dog’s wrath.

That night the witch appeared in Integra’s bedroom, “How do you like being a mutt, bitch?”

**I prefer purebred Siberian Husky.**

“I see you still haven’t learned anything."

**And I see that you’re still an old crone**

“You know I can make this permanent, just as you made my son, permanently dead!”

**He was already dead, when he became a ghoul.**

“And I said that I could have changed him back!”

**No one can change someone once they are a ghoul.**

I could have, but you enjoy killing them so much that you didn’t give me a chance!

**You think I enjoy killing ghouls? I do this as a duty for my country, not for fun, you foolish old bat.**

I could care less about your duty!

**Do you see that group of imbeciles called the Wild Geese? You think that I would have even considered them to be this organization’s forces to protect this country? I once had a force of elite soldiers, until ghouls attacked and every single one of them were turned while protecting me.**

The witch opened her mouth to say something, but Integra was not finished.

**In return for their heroic deed, I had to put a bullet in every last one of their heads. If I could change them back, I would have done everything in my power, given everything to change them back. I have to live with that nightmare for the rest of my life. So don’t assume that I do this out of enjoyment. Now if there is nothing else, I would like to try to get some sleep. I have to tell Seras that tummy rubs are still a violation of personal space.**

The witch looked at the commander for several minutes before saying, “Thank you, Sir Integra Hellsing” she then disappeared.

The next morning Integra stretched, why am I having nightmares about old witches? She rubbed her eyes with her hands...she had hands! Integra was no longer a dog. When Walter saw that his boss was no longer a dog, he was happy, things could go back to normal. No more having to deal with a pissed off mutt.

“It is good to see you as a human, Sir” smiled the butler.

“It is good to be human again. Also, there is a ton of dog hair on my bed.”

Alucard was glad that he no longer had to crawl around on his hands and knees. Seras leaped into Integra’s arms, “Sir Integra, you’re human again! I’m going to miss you being a cute doggy, but I’m glad you’re human. You were kind of a grumpy dog, but sooo soft!”

“Seras”

“Yes Sir Integra?”

“This is a grave violation of personal space.”

“Oh, sorry, Sir.”

The entire staff was relieved that their commander was human again, until she shouted at ‘some lazy uncouth slag of a maid’ for dragging a chair across her recently waxed floor. Pip got the worst of it, when Integra pushed him down a flight of stairs.

“What was that for?” moaned Pip.

“Don’t think I forgot for a moment about your suggestion to ‘check my gender!”

The End

**Author’s Notes: Well there you have it, readers, a new fic in time for Christmas. I hope to have another chapter of Hellsing: Law and Order uploaded sometime by Christmas or after. I may even have a new novella by New Years, but don’t hold your breath. That is over 70- pages on paper and I haven’t even finished writing it. I hope you enjoyed this fic and I’ll see you later.**


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